East Coast Girl Returns

I love this song and have been listening to it along with other Florence and the Machine songs all week long. The way the girl looks in the video reminds me of my brother’s old girlfriend. The video is not what I expected, but I love the song. 

8am

People understand me so little that they do not even understand when I complain of being misunderstood.

Via see more glass

8pm

Truly Chopping Off My Hair

This year as opposed to last year I chopped off the entirety of my hair meaning my hair was so short it was mainly a boy cut.  I realized through this hair cut that may seem like a small thing that they do not realize that short hair is actually more work and lick based than long hair. I have come to discover that it is just hair, my boyfriends roommate one told me that it doesn’t matter what your hair likes, you will be good looking if you were before, it is not dependent on the hair. I have come to understand it is just hair and I like the way i look with short and long hair. Now I am also trying to figure out how to live my life. I currently live at home and work at a school as a part time aid as well as at children’s sports facility. I plan on going back to school next year to get a masters in education, but I am extremely nervous that my statement of purpose does not say enough and will not help me but hinder my graduate school experience. I have restarted my letter writing with some success and I really appreciate it because I feel like it is worthwhile to interact with people I have not talked to recently. I have also taken up knitting and it is going as well as it can.  My life is going but not to a truly exciting end. I know everything will work out. 

2pm

Writing Letters… Or Trying To….

I decided today, that I would like to write a letter a day, I am not sure how long this will last, although considering I have to write letters for work and while applying to jobs it might not be as difficult to do. What do you think about letter writing, is it out of fashion or should people write them more frequently? I am not sure about you but I love receiving mail and I am hoping that by sending more letters and post cards I might get some in return, although that is not my primary goal. I enjoy writing letters and I think it could be a fun hobby. I was also thinking I heard once somewhere that the post office might have to go out of business or that they are losing money, and I am hoping that maybe by mailing more through the postal system to help that as well. So what do you think is this a hopeless effort, or worth it?

2pm

The song of my yesterday, Price Tag by Jessie J with B.o.B.

4pm

Inner Child

So today as I was walking the dog I realized, I am not so different being now 21. I am still child-like. For one thing I am a complete mess, if you ask anyone who knows me well they can tell you I barely survive meals without a stain or a spill. If you asked people who I have traveled with they can tell you I come home most days with black feet, and when I say black I do not mean a little muddy but I mean completely black. Recently I have started exercising in the backyard, to try and get into shape I am jumping rope, which might not be the brightest idea because I don’t wear shoes, every so often I step on a sharp rock, but oh well. I come in from this exercise and my feet are black bottomed, and although I feel dirty and gross part of the idea of black feet is comforting, knowing I am still myself. I wear out my shoes because I enjoy dragging my feet, I love the sound it makes and to know I am doing it. I realize these things seem small but to me they are reminders of a younger me. I noticed mushrooms in the backyard of my house and my boyfriends house, and I do not think about food (as some people have suggested) but instead of fairies that live underneath the mushrooms, I know I know you may not agree but seeing the mushrooms reminds me of the magic of youth and how anything is possible. 

So back to my walk and I realized I don’t mind having to duck through branches in fact I appreciate it because it gives a magic and jungle like feeling to my walk, I am not just walking down the road, but instead I am on an adventure and the possibilities are endless. I know it may seem just insane but to me it makes sense, the idea that although the realities of life are harsh there is a golden underside of hope and possibilities, by having faith and a good imagination you can see the light in everything. 

P.S. I know my blog has gotten boring due to lack of pictures, but I am looking into buying a camera soon… We will see how that goes!

4pm

Survivalist Instincts

I have had moments of doubt, but for me life is a survival thing. I have a hard time coping with people who whine or complain about setbacks because you cannot change them or do anything about them. I like to push forward in all aspects of my life and I am doing that now. I have decided to take a year off from college before returning to graduate school and this has come up against mixed reactions. Some say that since I finished college in three years I should take a break, but other believe that by taking time off I am risking not going back. Part of me wants to tell people who think I am at risk for not returning to college that they must not know me. I work hard at everything I do and I tend to follow my plans as much as I like, I will do what needs to be done and I will go back to school. I am just frustrated by doubt, how can they doubt my abilities, I give 100 percent or maybe 99 percent to everything I do. Another frustration I had lately was in reaction to my graduating in three years. One person told me that it is simply a status symbol and that graduating in three years becomes the latest trend or fad. To that person I wanted to say, are you kidding me? A TREND? Graduating in three years is not easy, it means sacrifice and hard work and for those who think otherwise they must not have experienced it first hand. I am not trying to brag about graduating in three years, in fact I was sad to go so soon and not to have stayed longer. The driving force behind my graduating in three years is financial, I did not want to take out more student loans or pay for the last year of college because I could not afford it. In opposition to all who push me down or doubt my abilities, I thrive because I am driven. I do what needs to be done, whatever that may be. I just wish others would have faith in my abilities more. 

9am

Craftiness

I have always had a do-it yourself inkling, but I discovered the other day do-it yourself is not for all people. I went with my friend to Joann’s Fabric and I was looking for fabric paint to try to screen print a tee-shirt. My friend found an embroidery project that she saw as interesting and one of the workers there suggested that she get a smaller project to practice with so she could get her tension right. I finished my tee-shirt and it was eh, I tried my best but it did not workout the way I wanted it to, such is life. My friend tried hers and was utterly frustrated by the small project so she moved on to the larger project, now I know nothing about embroidery, but I can say one thing that if you cannot finish a smaller project I would not attempt a larger one. Her mother even commented on the project stating that it was a extremely difficult one that she had picked. I understand my friend wanted to challenge herself, but as a beginner you should start small and work your way up to larger.

Anyways my craftiness has been an expansion and I am currently working on knitting a pair of mittens, which are too big so they probably will go to my boyfriend, I figured a child size 14 would not be too big but it is.  

9pm

This is so cute!

7pm

Graduating on Sunday?!?!

So I am moving back to the East Coast, Portland has been fun, and I am sure I will visit, but I am going back. Mainly because it is cheaper and closer to my boyfriend. I know you should not decide all your decisions based upon a boy, but I have proved that through living in Oregon for the past two years and I like my seasons. I am excited to have autumn, winter, spring and summer be completely different. I am also slightly terrified, I have a meta plan the big picture and ideas but not the minutiae. The whole living at home thing is also kind of scary, I love my family, but living across the hall from twin ten year old girls, is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination. I also will have to deal with the problems I have been putting off, like my car… I also need to find a new social scene because my college friends are mostly international, meaning they do not live on the East Coast. I hope things will get better, but I just will have to wait and see. I did it though, I know this may seem like gloating, but there was a long period of time where I did not think I would graduate. Between my family being broke, and me making bad decisions college did not seem attainable. I wanted to go as I always had but I was not sure it would happen. Now it has, I am all done with college in only three years, and the time flew by. I will now be the first one of my siblings with a college degree… Which means what exactly? I am not sure myself, I do not care how I am in comparison with my siblings although now I feel like even though I am not that much different more will be expected of me. Living in my own apartment and providing for myself this year has been time consuming to say the least. The reason for my absenteeism this year has been the madness it took to graduate in three years. I took five classes in the fall and worked 16 hours a week. Then I took a class over winter break, and my thesis and three other classes in the spring with 16 hours of work (I did not plan it that way, but one of the people I work with dropped out and I picked up her shifts. I am slightly a workaholic, but I am getting better.) Now after everything is finally slowing down to normal speed its all over. I have no more classes to take for my undergraduate degree, I will be part of the class of 2011 with a Bachelors of Arts in History. Yes, you may be asking yourselves what can she do with a Bachelors of Arts in History, and I am not quite sure of that myself. I am also conflicted on what I would like to do, I am divided between opening a restaurant, something that would be a challenge and I have no background in, or becoming a teacher. I think my compromise is to try both working in a restaurant and going to get my masters degree in education. I was at a dinner the other day where graduating seniors were asked where they saw themselves in five years. I am not sure where I see myself in five years, but it will probably be on the East Coast. 

12pm

Osama bin Laden is dead…

I realize this is a big deal, but I do not understand all the excitement. I do not think anyone deserves to die. I am not excited that he is dead, I understand what it means, but I just cannot be excited for someone’s death. Also America put the bin Laden family in power back in the day. I think that as much as Americans are happy that he is dead they should be disappointed in themselves for allowing him to be brought to power. I also think this should be taken as an opportunity to scrutinize American politics and not just accept what the media tells us. 

9pm

This is AWESOME!

seawitchery:

I started out clicking strategically… and by the end was just wildly clicking and dancing in my chair.

biancavirina:

CLICK THE SQUARES.

THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

THIS THIS THIS THIS!

(Source: mandaflewaway)

Via Nothing is True.

3pm

I like this video its funny, but it also makes me want to dance like this in real life. To be flipped and spun and to dance fast. I am so intrigued by this and I wish I could really learn how to do this or have someone to dance this with.

1am

Apparently I am behind on this one, what else is new. I really like this song the video just is the lyrics, but this song is so beautiful.

Last Request by Paolo Nutini

11pm